Have your portrait done

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a very famous artist.
She told the artist, “Paint me with 3- carat diamond earrings, a large
diamond necklace, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red
ruby pendant.”
“But ma’am, you are not wearing any of those things.”
“I know,” said Mrs. Johnson. “My health is not good and my husband is
having an affair with his secretary. When I die I’m sure he will marry
her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry.”

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